The Ladder Herald

Jonah's World

What he left when he left for school:

A closer look:

And

And

Child Rearing Is So Easy, Even A Child Can Do It.

A popular and extremely effective discipline technique you can use with your own children.

When they refuse to cooperate:

It's time to let them know, calmly, that you are going to count to three, and at the end, if they do not cooperate, they will have a time out or a privilege taken away.

Then start counting:

One.

Two.

Uh, Two.

And then, voila! (Or, "Whallah!" as we say here.) Some cooperation. This is more like it:

[Photography by Gabriel.]

Jonah, On Marriage

J: Why can't you sleep in my bed with me?

E: Well, Aba's my sweetie and when you're grown up you sleep with your sweetie.

J: I don't really want to get married, because when you get married you have to be a Prince.

E: ! ?

J: And I don't want to be a Prince, I just want to be a Dad.

Making Veeb with Grandma Sharon

Jonah and Sharon like to make the veeb (vetebrot, or some Swedish-ey word). It's sooooo amazing that he gets to bake with her, and have fun, and connect, and all I have to do is take pictures and study.

Here they are goofing around:

Yeah! The grandparents are here! Otherwise known as: fresh horses.

The veeb man.

You Be Me For A While...And I'll Be You...

Tonight before bed Jonah put my glasses on and said, "I'll be you Mama, and you be Jonah. I'm coming to take you home from school!"

"No! I don't want to go yet! Let me just show you one thing."

"Find your shoes, Jonah"

"No! I can't! I don't want to go yet!"

Then things took an extreme turn.

If you don't come now," Jonah told me in his Mama Voice,"You can never have another treat forever!"

I played along, pretending to cry. This delighted him!

He said, "If you don't cooperate, I'll leave you here at school and never come back."

This shocked me a little. I pretended to cry more and then I said it again,"I won't come!"

" If you don't come now, Aba and Rye and I will go on a trip and we won't take you!"

I couldn't stand it—"Jonah! I don't say things like that!"

He looked surprised. Then he laughed. "Let's do it again!"

So good for me to understand what dark fears come to him when I speak sharply to him, "Jonah! Come on! Let's go! It's time to get going! Where are your shoes? Help me please..." etc. etc. Usually he is so defiant that I don't think it is effecting him this way. But this is what he feels, at least partly.

The darkness of childhood. Abandonment, revenge. I just barely remember but this helps me remember more.

Recent Questions From Jonah

- Are penguins good or bad?

- What do you think that robot lobster is saying?

- Is it a firecracker or a firefly?

Sixty seconds with Jonah, 6:45 AM, 9/14/2007

"Mama! Want to play astronauts? ("Yes.") Ok! You be the fairy princess astronaut, and Rye can be the baby astronaut. Ok, and your bed will be our spaceship. We're going in space. Blast off! Now this is outer space, isn't it pretty? See the stars? And there's a baby alien in his spaceship. Now we're crashing down. We're in the snow! We're on a sled in the snow. It's a flying sled, right? Hold on, we're going too too fast! Hold Rye! Now it's crashing into the water. There's a barge in the water. Mama, if two ships crash in the ocean, how can the emergency guys find them? (I attempt to explain radar.) Let's call out our radar! We crashed! Come help us! Now we're swimming in the water! We're dolphins and you're the Mama dolphin and Rye is the baby dolphin. I need to get my special tool and whack the water! Here it is! It's so cool, right? Now let's go get a snack and go to school. I want pb and j!"

Boys on Bikes

Jonah and his cousin, Maxie, had such a good time together when we were on Fire Island this summer. My youngest sister and her wife have a gorgeous place there and we got to go vacate! No cars allowed on the whole place—we biked everywhere. Ahhhh.

Life would be so much better if we could bike this way in the city—especially with kids. I commute to school by bike and do some trips and errands that way but I still feel too tied to the car with the kids, especially the baby. On Fire Island I saw tons of old people on bikes (and trikes!), as well as kids of all ages. My favorite was a very old weathered guy on a cruiser smoking a cigarette. Yeah! And of course this is why we should all join the Bike Coalition: www.sfbike.org.

Jonah was great on his bike with training wheels—so effortlessly independent in the bike-friendly setting. One day he and I pedaled about a 1/4 mile to town. When we arrived, Jonah decided that he was bored and he wanted to turn back. In the city, what a fight this would be! But on Fire Island, I could just let him go because it's completely safe. He took off on his own to the house to see his cousin, and I watched him go feeling half scared/half proud. I guess that is the feeling I will have a lot from now on in relation to him.

(This image is a lomograph, by the way. Thanks Anastasia!!!)

 

Taking Me to Me

Once, Jonah and I were talking about being sad, and I asked him what he would do to feel better if he felt sad.

"I would go find you!" he said. That made me happy.

"And," he said, "if Rye was sad, and crying, I would take him to you too."

"And what about Aba?'

"I would take him to you."

"And what if Mama were sad?" G asked.

"I would take you to you." He told me.

Gabe: "That's your problem."

What Are You Masking?

Jonah's obsessed with masking tape. He used an entire roll today, making sculpture, toys & necklaces for Rye, boats, water pipes, bridges, houses, scones, wheels, and crowns.

When I asked him why all the tape he said, "because when I try to draw it doesn't come out like what I see in my mind."

He calls them his "projects", as in "I can't give you a kiss! I'm too busy working on my projects!"

He's inspired me to remember my old paper tricks: fortune tellers and newspaper hats. It's fun to make stuff. It's incredible, actually.

Here's a link to a good explanation of how to make a fortune teller out of paper:

Enchanted Learning

Some of the fortunes we've written are:

1. You will eat trash soup at Yukky Restaurant.
2. If you turn around quickly, you will see the invisible Splorgak. Too late!
3. Sneakers will soon be edible.
4. Your robot's name will be Zaza in the year 2040.
5. You will find a secret cave where you can hide your treasure from the pirates.
6. A guinea pig will follow you home.
7. You will invent salad ice cream.
8. You will go camping on the moon in the year 2050.

If this seems adorable or precocious in any way, let me just add that he is also farting continually, really stinking up the apartment. This includes times when he is sitting on my lap.